One of the most common phrases you've probably heard when it comes to dealing with the past, is to "let go of the past". But what does it mean? And is it even possible? After all, we are designed to use the past, so can we really let go of what we already experienced?
This article explores different perspectives on the past. It helps you to understand how your past influences your present reality and how to deal with difficult past experiences."Letting Go"
Imagine yourself taking a piece of paper and writing down "the past" onto it in big letters. Then imagine yourself picking up that piece of paper and holding it in front of you. You're holding it close enough to your face so you can still see something besides it. Then see yourself get up and walk around with it.
Can you imagine how quickly this paper version of "the past" would interfere with your normal way of living? Can you imagine yourself knocking over objects, because you can't see your environment the way you should? Can you imagine yourself having to move slower than usual? Can you see how this situation would kill your mood? Or simply, how it would degrade the quality of your life? Or worse, can you imagine yourself walking around like this for the rest of your days?
Your natural reaction to this type of situation, would be to drop that piece of paper as quickly as possible, because having "the past" in front of you, literally, would prevent you from living your life. So if having a paper version of the past in front of you, can affect you in a real-life experience, can you imagine how a similar "mental version" of the past would affect you, if you were to hold it in front of your mind's eye?
The only problem with "letting go" in your mind, is that you have no direct connection to your past experiences. There is no trick of the mind you can perform to "let go" of the memories you no longer want to carry around with you. The only way to truly "let go of the past" mentally and emotionally, is by changing how you perceive it. And you can only do this by understanding the past better and by understanding how exactly it affects your current reality.
Understanding The Past
The most common way to think about the past, is to see it as a collection of experiences. All experiences are inherently detailed and therefore difficult to conceptualize. So in order to visualize them, think of your past experiences as if they were
a basket of eggs.Using this analogy, you are bound to pick up eggs during the course of your life. Some of these eggs will be beneficial to your personal development. Going to school, meeting new people, learning a new skill, falling in love... these are the moments in your life, that shaped you in a positive way. Most likely you would enjoy it, if you could collect more of these type of memories in the future. They are what you might call them:
your good eggs.You are however destined to encounter situations in your life that you would love to avoid. Being rejected by someone you love, not being able to pay your bills, the death of a friend or family member, getting fired... memories you probably wished you didn't have. Most likely you consider it to be better if you could avoid these types of situations in the future. These are the eggs you picked up, but didn't really want to experience. You might even call them:
your bad eggs.Although you pick up new experiences all the time, you are also using these experiences, from a moment to moment basis, to create your current present reality. Using the analogy of the eggs, you could say you are using your previous experiences, your eggs, to make up
an omelette.Considering that we all live on a specific level of awareness, a person with a low level awareness may very well believe that his life is nothing more than a basket of eggs, a collection of experiences. He experiences things, puts them in his mental basket and looks back on them. This person believes he has no control over his life whatsoever, because he isn't even aware that he is living a life he can control.
Most people live a step above this level of awareness. They pick up eggs, put them in their mental basket, are aware that they are creating their present reality "omelette", but they aren't very much in control of how the omelette tastes to them. They are not actively creating their reality.
We all know that the quality and taste of an omelette directly relates to the quality of the eggs that were used and so is the quality of your present reality directly related to the experiences you use. So if you rush through life and fail to consciously choose which memories you use to create your present reality, then you cannot be in control of your present experience.
From this point of view, does it make sense to use bad experiences from the past to enjoy the present? Does it make sense to nurture yourself with the same old nasty version of your present reality, even if it tastes awful? And if you are the one creating your present experience and it cannot satisfy your needs, then ultimately... who is responsible?
You're Not A Bad Egg
Is there a reason why some experiences should be considered bad and others should be considered good? After all, can you be 100% sure that an experience is good or bad? Will a series of bad experiences always result in a terrible life? Will a sequence of positive experiences always result in a happy life?
The truth is, we don't know. Although we would love to believe we can, we often don't have the insight to correctly label our experiences, because we don't know how an experience will affect our lives in the long run. And because we lack this insight, we often mislabel our experiences.
The direct consequence of mislabeling your experiences is that you feel a certain way about your life. You are, after all, the person who is picking up the eggs. You are the person who is creating the omelette. And equally important, you are the person who consumes that omelette. You consume your reality through your experiences and therefore you are also the only person in this universe who can decide whether or not your current reality satisfies you.
But what if you have to consume an omelette, while knowing that it was made from bad eggs? Would you still be able to enjoy it? Of course not. The only way you can enjoy any omelette is by knowing that it was made with good eggs and not bad ones. So as long as you continue to use "bad experiences" to create your present experience, then your expectations about reality will never be fulfilled, simply because they aren't congruent with the ingredients you are using to create that reality.
And maybe now you're thinking... "Well, Bert... that's nice and all, but there is nobody out there whose life was made up out of only great experiences. Everybody experiences bad things, so how can you create something that tastes good, if say, all you believe you have... are bad eggs?"
And that is the big question: How can you enjoy your present reality, if all you seem to have are "bad memories"?
Change Your Perception
Perhaps your past experiences weren't the result of your best effort. Maybe you could have done better. Maybe you didn't take 100% responsibility for your actions. Maybe you made mistakes. Maybe you picked up a few "bad eggs" along the way. And you know what... that's fine.... but only if you can appreciate the value of your past experiences.
Even if you live a very unconscious life, you can still become a conscious person by becoming aware of the effect the past has had on the person you are today. It is always better to know who you are, by understanding exactly what shaped you, than to reject the fowl tasting pieces of your past. Every single experience holds a certain value to you, even if you label it as "bad".
But that label can cause a lot of damage to the experience of your current reality. When you continue to label your experiences as such, then the meaning of that experience remains a painful one. The negative impact it once had on your life, remains alive in the present moment. Without consciously exploring what is inside those "bad eggs", nothing changes. Without trying to understand your past, your life is based on the assumption that you have the insight to correctly label an experience as either bad or good. Fortunately, every experience, no matter how you label it or how you once experienced it, continues to contain a power and opportunity for you to grow.
It actually comes down to this: enjoying a wonderful present experience is not the result of having only good eggs in the past. It is the result of harvesting the hidden power in our past experiences. It is using our ability to crack open those supposedly "bad eggs", to look what is on the inside and to use that to our advantage.
So instead of handing over your power to those supposedly "bad eggs", you consciously use your memories to your benefit, by changing their meaning. When you change the meaning of the past, you also change how it affects you, because the meaning and the effect of that meaning are directly related. Instead of focusing on the hard shell that says "bad", focus on the center. Open up your past experiences and explore their content. What do they mean? What makes them valuable? What are they hiding from you? How can you use them to feel more in control?
By relabeling your bad experiences to good ones, not in a sense of denial of course, you are demonstrating a genuine interest in your past and you hereby activate a part of your overall knowledge that makes your present experience taste much better. It is the only way to transform your past into a meaningful event, one that you would gladly mix into your current reality.
Finding New Grounds
Although having a clear image of the past is one way to free additional mental energy and transform your currently reality, you never stop creating your present experience and therefore never stop creating a new past for your future self.
We all know it takes a lot of effort to convert a "bad egg" into a "good one", so why not live a little more consciously? Why not be mindful of what you want to experience in the future? Why not find new grounds to pick up some fresh new eggs? After all, there is still no better way to deal with the past, than to create a new one.
So don't continue to pick up the eggs you picked up yesterday, simply because you know where to find them. But even if you fail at that... then you're still not a bad egg.... then you're at least still a little bit
chicken 
