What motivates you to do... anything? Why should you work hard at your job, have a relationship, shape up your body, become smarter. Is it money that powers you, control, love, creativity,... What fuel are you running on? And where should that motivational fuel come from?
You can let go now!Do you remember how it felt like the first time you had to ride your bike?
I'm sure you do.
In every person's life, that moment is very significant. Not because it was scary. But because it required a lot of courage to do it. First of all, there is a big chance that you had to be asked to take out your bike.You had to be comforted that everything was going to work out fine. You had to be supported, mentally and physically. And all of this with a sense of distrust inside yourself. Your began pushing your little legs up and down on your bike and you moved forward. It was kind of exciting, but you weren't ready to do it on your own just yet. It took you a minute. To find that trust in yourself. And then you said those magic words... "you can let go now" With confidence, you continued to push down the pedals. And there it was. Your creation. You, riding your bike, for the first time, all by yourself.
Why is this moment so significant? What happened in that moment, when they let you go? You stopped your fear and replaced it by a love for it. You no longer felt the need to be supported, because it was proven that you didn't need any. You were a little closer to freedom. You gained a little more independence. Fear faded away and was instantly replaced by joy.
Even more important, the motivation no longer had to come from the person next to you. It came from within yourself. You were excited about the process of riding by yourself now. You no longer had to be asked to take out your bike. You loved driving around on your own. And all you needed was to get rid of that one thought that scared you. That one thought that was holding you back from tapping into your source of personal motivation.
True motivation is not the person outside you cheering you on. It's that voice inside you cheering you on. A voice that says : don't worry... you can do it!
Clarity.Riding your bike is one thing. But what about all those things you haven't done yet in your life? All those things you are still feel insecure about?
How many times have you wanted to do something, but didn't because you lacked clarity about what was about to come next? What if you knew what was going to happen next? Would it be easier to convince yourself to do it? If an experienced person told you what was going to happen next, would it make a huge difference? Would you be tempted to try out, whatever you want to experience? Or would you still remain sceptical?
For most people, being told that you don't have to be scared to try something new, changes absolutely nothing. Why? Because clarity isn't transferable through words. Clarity comes from personal experience. For example, a runner can tell you what it feels like to run a marathon. He can give you details about every mile he ran. He can tell you how it feels. But until you decide to attempt what he does, you will never understand what he is going through. Action is a vital part of growth. Really... you don't know anything, until you've experienced it.
For some people, a lack of clarity is exciting. Others find it scary as hell. Which is normal. It's an inate attribute of people to be afraid of what is new. To be scared of things they haven't experienced yet.
To not know what will happen is like standing in front of a possibly unstable bridge. It may very wel seem unstable, but until you prove to yourself that it is, chances are you aren't going to feel confident about using it to continue your path. The only way you will trust the strength of that bridge is by stepping onto it and trying it out for yourself. Someone else can test it and tell you about it, but still, that might not make any difference at all. Fear is a natural thing. And you need it to push yourself towards it. So go slow. Go really slow if you have to. Put a single toe on that bridge if you're really fearful, then all of them, then put your entire foot down. Then your other foot. If you feel the stability of the bridge, it means you have recieved your dose of experiental confidence and then you can start to walk. But you won't get your confidence shot, until you take that first step.
Take this blog for example. More than a decade ago, I was cluecless about how I could make something like this. I didn't even know how the internet functioned. I was completely ignorant about the technicalities of the "online" world. But I was curious and I had been using the medium and it served me well, especialy for meeting new people. Still, I had to begin from scratch if I wanted to learn anything about building something online.
So I took a step. I looked into it. And I loved it. Then I looked into it some more. And even more. After a while, I couldn't get enough of it. If I were to tell myself back then, that a decade later, I would be designing, developing and writing this blog from scratch (as in writing all of the code, setting up a database, creating an RSS feed, creating an online contact form and so on...), I would have never believed it was possible. I didn't see all of this to be possible back then. All of this, is the result of ONE step, motivated by pure curiosity. Was it easy to get to where I am now? Absolutely not. But now I'm in a totally different place. A place where a lot of people will never be.
Personal Fuel.To grow, you have to become a self-motivated force in this world. You cannot rely on constant external motivation. Constant external motivation is an impossible thing to ask for. You cannot have others cheering you on all the time. So when there is nobody there to motivate you, then you must do it yourself. Strong people are aware of an internal source of motivation. They push themselves to do what they fear, because it motivates them to grow.
The main reason why most people aren't self-motivated beings is because they fail to look for the answers they need on the inside. Most of the time, they look outside themselves. They look for fuel that works for others and accept it as a solution. They believe that money, control, consumption, passive entertainment...and so on are the key motivators for effective people to do what they do. And they are wrong. That's not why they do what they do.
This article means a lot to me. Not because it will make me rich, or popular, but because it has the potential to make a difference. That's my motivation. I'm powered by making changes and helping people. It's what I love to do. Last month, this blog recieved 25 visitors. That's not a big crowd cheering me on is it? Did it stop me from writing a new article? Nope. I know why I do what I do, because I love doing it. And I will keep doing it, even if in a year from now I'm still talking to 25 people. Although I'm planning to increase that number
Doing what you love, is the best way to become a self-motivated person. Love creates the motivational fuel you need, to fire up your internal desires. When you love what you do, then you don't need any other reason to do what you do. Money, influence... are simply by-products of the love for what you do. Whatever you do in life, there will always be lots of options to consider, but they will make more sense to you when you understand why you do what you do.
Love is the fuel that drives you forward and points you in the right direction at the same time. But in order to find direction for your actions, you have to find the reason first. That means you have to assign meaning to what you do. The more meaning you give it, the stronger your beliefs become. The stronger your beliefs are, the more action you will undertake. The more action you undertake, the more you will believe in your potential. The more meaning it will get.
You're a unique person, driven by unique values, morals, principles... Reality suggests that you don't need reasons from others to move forward, you need your own type of fuel. And the only way to find that fuel is to dig inside yourself. You can tap into someone else's motivation for a while, but it's not going to make you move forward as fast as your own personal type of fuel will. You have to figure out who you are first and what makes your engine run. What you love most. What feels obvious to you.
Are you still waiting?Change comes when you want it to come. When you decide to take on new and exciting challenges. Ask yourself what is the best thing for you. Ask yourself what makes you truly happy. And then do it. Don't worry about the steps you have to take. They will become clear.
