Why Tension Is Essential For Growth, a personal development article

When you observe a building, you may get the idea that you're looking at a construction that doesn't seem to struggle. It seems to just be there, effortlessly. Right?

Yet, it doesn't just stand there. At a level invisble to the naked eye, it is held together by a lot of forces. It's under a lot of strain all the time. In fact, the entire building is kept stable by controlling the tension inside of it. Furthermore, the tension comes with the building. Without it, the building wouldn't even exist.

The same applies to your personal growth. Without taking in account the tension inside your life, you simply can't become the person you want to be. Tension is essential for growth.

The comfort zone

Because tension is such an essential part of being a highly stable individual, the crucial part is not to try to figure out how to rid yourself from it. A more constructive approach is to understand how tension is present inside you and how to use it more wisely, so that it becomes part of your overall personal stability.

I think it's fair to say that the comfort zone is the place where we deny ourselves of having to deal with tension. Where we pretend not to need it. It's that mental hangout where we can sit back, relax... and also feel completely dissatisfied with ourselves.

Inside the comfort zone nothing ever happens. It is by far the most boring mental place you can be in. It has no secrets and there is nothing to be discovered. In the comfort zone, the game of life isn't even being played. Real personal growth lies outside the comfort zone, in the uncomfortable zone. Where everything is still to be discovered and experienced. Where you play. Where you can fail or win.

If your attitude towards tension, is to pretend that it doesn't play a vital role in who you are, then you can't grow as an individual. Then you simply lay there, like a pile of bricks. A lot of potential, but without mixing it with a certain amount of effort, there is no construction and therefore no experience of personal growth.

Being Unprepared

When I was young, I was afraid to pick up the phone when it rang at home, because I wasn't sure who was going to be on the other end. For all I knew, it could be a stranger and I wasn't sure how I would react towards that person. I wasn't feeling very confident, so I simply avoided picking up the phone completely. I couldn't prepare myself for what might happen and that scared me.

So one day I got over myself and simply answered the phone. On the other end was a friendly voice and a part of the tension I felt seemed to fade away very quickly. I eventually got into the habit of enjoying picking up the phone. In fact, I grew into a person who would always try to be the first one to answer it.

Living your life in a conscious way means you accept the fact that you can never know exactly what is going to happen next. No matter how old you are, every new situation is something you can't prepare yourself for. You have to be willing to embrace the unknown, which also means you have to be willing to accept that there will always be tension in your life. You have to accept the fact that you have to learn how to master your fear.

Fear And Courage

Feeling tension is an essential part of feeling alive and there is no better way to do it than applying courage to face your fears.

You can think of fear as your guide. It tells you what to do next. When you're afraid to drive a car, then you should learn to drive one. When you're afraid to tell someone you care about him or her, then you should tell that person you care. Most people however have a tendency to move away from fear as if it is an internal mechanism to tell you what you should avoid.

But that is not the purpose of fear. It is the exact opposite of that. Fear tells you what you care about most. It gives you a deep sense of direction. So the question you should ask yourself is not "how can I avoid dealing with fear", the question to ask yourself is "am I willing to go that way? Am I ready to be courageous enough to see what is on the other end of facing my fears?"

Directly related to fear is courage. It's the ability to follow through on your actions, regardless whether you are afraid or not. Courage is taking that first crucial step. It's getting into the driver's seat to go for your first drive. It's calling up that person you're in love with to schedule a date, because you have something important to say. Courage is understanding that the outcome is worth more than the moment of discomfort.

If fear is the direction you should follow, then courage is the gateway to a deep sense of personal achievement. Whenever you apply courage, you're almost instantly rewarded with a heightened sense of awareness. It causes excitement, it activates your brain and all of your senses. It's like the finger on a light switch. Suddenly the lights pop on and everything seems much more vibrant. It gives you a taste of your own power.

Applying courage makes you feel more alive.

Embrace The Tension

Tension is a crucial part of our daily lives, so be grateful for it. A life without tension doesn't exist, so don't wish for it. There will always be forces pulling and pushing you in all directions. Some of them are caused by others, but most of them are caused by your own thoughts and choices. So don't try to rid yourself of what feels awkward. Don't crawl back into your comfortable hiding place, so you can continue to pretend you like it there.

Tension is not the excuse you need to not do something, it's the reason you need to achieve what you want.

Without it, you simply can't grow.

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