So what happens when you don't accept yourself as the person you are? What happens when your mind seems to drown you in a constant flow of negative self-talk? And more importantly, how can you deal with such a destructive inner dialogue?

The Mirror.

For most people, a lack of connection to the problem is what makes it very difficult to overcome their negative inner dialogue. To help you understand where negative self-talk begins and how it is perpetuated, imagine the following scenario:

You are standing in front of a mirror, facing yourself, but instead of acknowledging yourself as the reflection in the mirror, you reject the notion completely. You don't accept you are the person you're looking at. So if you are not looking at yourself, then you must be looking at someone else. A person you have zero control over.

Now, let's take it a step further. What if, for example, the person in the mirror would decide to throw a punch at you? This would make you feel upset, aggravated, sad,... but also helpless at the same time. Instead of blaming yourself for feeling upset, you will immediately point the finger at "that other person" for the emotional state you are now in. You will think : "Hey, that person threw a punch at me!!", instead of "I threw a punch at myself..."

Without accepting it is you in that mirror, you are not only unable to control the punch coming at you, but you are also denying yourself the opportunity to determine your own emotional response, caused by the punch. On the other hand, if you could learn to embrace the person in that mirror as yourself, then you would realize that there is not a single reason to throw a punch at yourself in the first place.

The very nature of negative self-talk is that it makes you believe you are being affected by something you don't have a handle on. So how do you regain control over that person in the mirror? How do you reclaim a deeper sense of responsibility for managing your emotional state? How do you deal with that taunting creature inside yourself?

Meet Your Bully.

Your ego is very much like the mirror I described earlier. Its duty is not to tell you who you are in an embellished or debasing way, it merely reflects back to you who you are as an individual. A part of that reflection tells you what you are good at. The other part of the reflection is that which you still have to work on. So when you think about negative self-talk, then you are actually thinking about the reflection of your weaknesses through your ego onto your awareness.

However, when this reflection becomes your main focus and you are being constantly reminded of what you're not good at, it gives you the idea that you're being bullied by your own mind. As if there is an intangible creature inside you, who enjoys hitting you where it hurts most and won't stop doing what it does, because it knows how to pick on you. It appears to find pleasure in making your life miserable.

But your ego's duty is not to make you feel bad about yourself. All it does is show you who you are. So every time you demonstrate your weakness, by means of an emotional response to your inner critic, you are giving your inner bully the reason it needs to perform its duty: to reflect back to you what you are doing wrong.

The reason why people, who suffer from a lot of negative self-talk, are no longer benefiting from their ego's presence, is because they have begun to think of their ego's behavior as a violent act against them, instead it what it really is : a source of valuable information for their own personal development. What they call a "bully", is in fact their best friend on the path to personal growth.

The reason why you have a bully is because there is a reason for it to be there. So although it may seem as if your negative self-talk is affecting you in a destructive way, it is in fact you who is perpetuating your destructive inner dialogue by allowing it to upset you. Your ego and what it reflects back to you, is not really the problem.

The problem is that you are being...

An Even Bigger Bully.

The reason why we are often afraid of something, is because it seems bigger than who we are. We are afraid we may not be able to deal with it. The result? We try to scare it off, try to stand up to it, try to be even bigger. But we all know that only causes the situation to escalate. Think of it as a discussion between two people. When person A tries to convince person B, person A's voice goes up, and as a result person B does the exact same thing. When you're in a battle with your ego, the same thing happens, but because your ego acts like a mirror, it can only raise its appearance of weakness to that of your own level. No more, no less. It shows you your weakness and if you respond to it with even greater weakness, then that is exactly what will be reflected back to you.

The problem of negative self-talk continues to exist as long as you believe that becoming upset is a valid solution to stop being bullied by your mind.

Every time you get upset because your ego tells you about who you are, then you are in fact being an even bigger bully, who is starting an even bigger war with yourself. So how do you moderate those internal discussions?

Just Listen.

The emotional response you give to your inner dialogue is like throwing fuel on an already existing fire. If you stop fueling the fire, it will eventually burn out. The key to ending negative self-talk is by giving it the attention it needs through listening. Whenever your mind begins to spill its guts, you simply listen to it. What you don't do, is give it attention in the form of an emotional response. When the negative self-talk occurs, don't try to ignore it, don't reject it, simply be there and watch it happen. Accept it is so. Don't be upset about it.

As you continue to listen, your ego will begin to reflect back to you the state you are showing it and over time your ego will reflect what you have become: a more peaceful person. Each time you don't try to stand up to your negative thoughts and decline the invitation to feed your ego with a negative emotional response, you will gain a little more control and you will feel a little more connected to yourself.

The goal for bertmeert.com is to increase your awareness and to help you contribute to the world by unlocking your creative energy.

For more personal development articles, visit www.bertmeert.com
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© 2009 Bert Meert

This article explores different perspectives on the past. It helps you to understand how your past influences your present reality and how to deal with difficult past experiences.

"Letting Go"

Imagine yourself taking a piece of paper and writing down "the past" onto it in big letters. Then imagine yourself picking up that piece of paper and holding it in front of you. You're holding it close enough to your face so you can still see something besides it. Then see yourself get up and walk around with it.

Can you imagine how quickly this paper version of "the past" would interfere with your normal way of living? Can you imagine yourself knocking over objects, because you can't see your environment the way you should? Can you imagine yourself having to move slower than usual? Can you see how this situation would kill your mood? Or simply, how it would degrade the quality of your life? Or worse, can you imagine yourself walking around like this for the rest of your days?

Your natural reaction to this type of situation, would be to drop that piece of paper as quickly as possible, because having "the past" in front of you, literally, would prevent you from living your life. So if having a paper version of the past in front of you, can affect you in a real-life experience, can you imagine how a similar "mental version" of the past would affect you, if you were to hold it in front of your mind's eye?

The only problem with "letting go" in your mind, is that you have no direct connection to your past experiences. There is no trick of the mind you can perform to "let go" of the memories you no longer want to carry around with you. The only way to truly "let go of the past" mentally and emotionally, is by changing how you perceive it. And you can only do this by understanding the past better and by understanding how exactly it affects your current reality.

Understanding The Past.

The most common way to think about the past, is to see it as a collection of experiences. All experiences are inherently detailed and therefore difficult to conceptualize. So in order to visualize them, think of your past experiences as if they were a basket of eggs.

Using this analogy, you are bound to pick up eggs during the course of your life. Some of these eggs will be beneficial to your personal development. Going to school, meeting new people, learning a new skill, falling in love... these are the moments in your life, that shaped you in a positive way. Most likely you would enjoy it, if you could collect more of these type of memories in the future. They are what you might call them: your good eggs.

You are however destined to encounter situations in your life that you would love to avoid. Being rejected by someone you love, not being able to pay your bills, the death of a friend or family member, getting fired... memories you probably wished you didn't have. Most likely you consider it to be better if you could avoid these types of situations in the future. These are the eggs you picked up, but didn't really want to experience. You might even call them: your bad eggs.

Although you pick up new experiences all the time, you are also using these experiences, from a moment to moment basis, to create your current present reality. Using the analogy of the eggs, you could say you are using your previous experiences, your eggs, to make up an omelette.

Considering that we all live on a specific level of awareness, a person with a low level awareness may very well believe that his life is nothing more than a basket of eggs, a collection of experiences. He experiences things, puts them in his mental basket and looks back on them. This person believes he has no control over his life whatsoever, because he isn't even aware that he is living a life he can control.

Most people live a step above this level of awareness. They pick up eggs, put them in their mental basket, are aware that they are creating their present reality "omelette", but they aren't very much in control of how the omelette tastes to them. They are not actively creating their reality.

We all know that the quality and taste of an omelette directly relates to the quality of the eggs that were used and so is the quality of your present reality directly related to the experiences you use. So if you rush through life and fail to consciously choose which memories you use to create your present reality, then you cannot be in control of your present experience.

From this point of view, does it make sense to use bad experiences from the past to enjoy the present? Does it make sense to nurture yourself with the same old nasty version of your present reality, even if it tastes awful? And if you are the one creating your present experience and it cannot satisfy your needs, then ultimately... who is responsible?

You Are Not A Bad Egg.

Is there a reason why some experiences should be considered bad and others should be considered good? After all, can you be 100% sure that an experience is good or bad? Will a series of bad experiences always result in a terrible life? Will a sequence of positive experiences always result in a happy life?

The truth is, we don't know. Although we would love to believe we can, we often don't have the insight to correctly label our experiences, because we don't know how an experience will affect our lives in the long run. And because we lack this insight, we often mislabel our experiences.

The direct consequence of mislabeling your experiences is that you feel a certain way about your life. You are, after all, the person who is picking up the eggs. You are the person who is creating the omelette. And equally important, you are the person who consumes that omelette. You consume your reality through your experiences and therefore you are also the only person in this universe who can decide whether or not your current reality satisfies you.

But what if you have to consume an omelette, while knowing that it was made from bad eggs? Would you still be able to enjoy it? Of course not. The only way you can enjoy any omelette is by knowing that it was made with good eggs and not bad ones. So as long as you continue to use "bad experiences" to create your present experience, then your expectations about reality will never be fulfilled, simply because they aren't congruent with the ingredients you are using to create that reality.

And maybe now you're thinking... "Well, Bert... that's nice and all, but there is nobody out there whose life was made up out of only great experiences. Everybody experiences bad things, so how can you create something that tastes good, if say, all you believe you have... are bad eggs?"

And that is the big question: How can you enjoy your present reality, if all you seem to have are "bad memories"?

Impossible Is Nothing.

Perhaps your past experiences weren't the result of your best effort. Maybe you could have done better. Maybe you didn't take 100% responsibility for your actions. Maybe you made mistakes. Maybe you picked up a few "bad eggs" along the way. And you know what... that's fine.... but only if you can appreciate the value of your past experiences.

Even if you live a very unconscious life, you can still become a conscious person by becoming aware of the effect the past has had on the person you are today. It is always better to know who you are, by understanding exactly what shaped you, than to reject the fowl tasting pieces of your past. Every single experience holds a certain value to you, even if you label it as "bad".

But that label can cause a lot of damage to the experience of your current reality. When you continue to label your experiences as such, then the meaning of that experience remains a painful one. The negative impact it once had on your life, remains alive in the present moment. Without consciously exploring what is inside those "bad eggs", nothing changes. Without trying to understand your past, your life is based on the assumption that you have the insight to correctly label an experience as either bad or good. Fortunately, every experience, no matter how you label it or how you once experienced it, continues to contain a power and opportunity for you to grow.

It actually comes down to this: Enjoying a wonderful present experience is not the result of having only good eggs in the past. It is the result of harvesting the hidden power in our past experiences. It is using our ability to crack open those supposedly "bad eggs", to look what is on the inside and to use that to our advantage.

So instead of handing over your power to those supposedly "bad eggs", you consciously use your memories to your benefit, by changing their meaning. When you change the meaning of the past, you also change how it affects you, because the meaning and the effect of that meaning are directly related. Instead of focusing on the hard shell that says "bad", focus on the center. Open up your past experiences and explore their content. What do they mean? What makes them valuable? What are they hiding from you? How can you use them to feel more in control?

By relabeling your bad experiences to good ones, not in a sense of denial of course, you are demonstrating a genuine interest in your past and you hereby activate a part of your overall knowledge that makes your present experience taste much better. It is the only way to transform your past into a meaningful event, one that you would gladly mix into your current reality.

Finding New Eggs.

Although having a clear image of the past is one way to free additional mental energy and transform your currently reality, you never stop creating your present experience and therefore never stop creating a new past for your future self.

We all know it takes a lot of effort to convert a "bad egg" into a "good one", so why not live a little more consciously? Why not be mindful of what you want to experience in the future? Why not find new grounds to pick up some fresh new eggs? After all, there is still no better way to deal with the past, than to create a new one.

So don't continue to pick up the eggs you picked up yesterday, simply because you know where to find them. But even if you fail at that... then you're still not a bad egg.... then you're at least still a little bit chicken :-)

The goal for bertmeert.com is to increase your awareness and to help you contribute to the world by unlocking your creative energy.

For more personal development articles, visit www.bertmeert.com
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© 2009 Bert Meert

Although this article was inspired by the Rubik's Cube, you don't have to know how to solve the cube, to enjoy this post. The main goal for this blogpost is to help you find balance in life, not to teach you how to solve the cube.

Choices.

A scrambled version of the Rubik's Cube raises a lot of questions. Questions about fear, doubt and disbelief. The unscrambled version of the cube also raises questions. Questions about possibilities. When solved, the cube seems peaceful and balanced. The difference between the unscrambled and the scrambled one is choice.

Think about your life for a moment. Can you remember all the details, all the choices that lead up to what you are experiencing right now?

If you can, then you are living a conscious life and every choice you made so far has been important enough to remember. Most likely, you will understand how your previous decisions have contributed to your life. Your choices will have been purposeful, focused and as a result, you feel balanced. You will feel grateful for the past, because it is the stepping stone that enables you to experience your life how you experience it now.

On the other hand, if you can't remember the decisions that made you into the person you are today, then you're probably living rather unconsciously. The details of the past will be vague, because your choices will have been less controlled. Instead of being able to look back on a clear past, your previous experiences will seem rather blurry and confusing and as a result you feel rather unbalanced and more or less uncertain about what is to come next. It will be more difficult for you to figure out how you ended up in the state you're in right now.

Choices create order or chaos. They either scramble you or solve you.

So how do you experience your life at the moment? Does it feel like you're in control of your choices? Or does it raise a lot of scary questions? And what does that tell you about your state of inner balance? Are you consciously making choices and becoming balanced... or do you feel more or less unbalanced, because the choices you are making are unclear?

Finding Balance.

The number of intelligent choices to make, in order to solve a Rubik's Cube are not infinite. Considering there are 43 quintillion possible versions to make with a single cube, there are actually very few moves to make, in order to solve it.

Solving the cube requires making intelligent choices. You can recklessly twist the sides of a Rubik's Cube, but your chances of solving it that way are close to impossible. In life, this approach delivers the same results. When you choose to rely on hope or random luck, then you are simply giving your power away to circumstances. Instead, take responsibility for what is to come and acknowledge your capability to take matters into your own hands.

Look Inward, Not Outward For The Solution.

Even when someone gives you the solution, you can still fail to apply the solution and fail to solve the cube.

You can look outside yourself for a solution to your problems, but even when someone tells you exactly what to do, then you may still fail to position yourself into a situation that feels more balanced.

Others can help you to walk a certain path, but at some point down the road, you will encounter obstacles you can't overcome. They can only show you the road they took and tell you about their experiences down that specific road. So if you decided to take a side-road or were tricked into believing there is a quick and easy shortcut to a new and improved life, then you may still be lost and looking for a way out of your situation.

When this happens, the solution is to look inward and to realize that the first step towards increased personal balance is to...

Accept Your Truth.

When you scramble a Rubik's Cube for the first time, you come face to face with a harsh reality: that you have absolutely no clue how to fix it. There is no certainty you can twist it back to its original state. The only certainty you have, is that you can accept the responsibility to unscramble it.

Becoming a more balanced person begins with believing that you are capable of transforming yourself in a different state and that finding balance is possible, no matter how complex the situation you are in. Even if you feel a sense of fear or hopelessness, realize that anything in your life can scare you. So the worst thing you can do is to put your problems aside and delude yourself into thinking you can escape them.

The truth is you can never fool yourself that way. You simply cannot avoid your problems. You cannot reject the truth, by sticking your head in the sand, and expect your life to change. Every experience becomes part of your memory in an instant, therefore it becomes an undeniable part of who you are. This also means that, on a subconscious level, everything you experience continues to exist inside you, until you decide to bring it into your consciousness and deal with it. So there is no point in trying to avoid the reality of your situation.

To accept your truth means to admit the truth to yourself. It is taking a long hard look at yourself. It is dealing with the reality of who you are. It is not running away from the situation, because you didn't want it to be this way. It is taking responsibility for your actions and realizing that you are the person who got yourself in that mess. When you embrace your truth, you don't fight it nor do you complain about it. All you do is acknowledge the way it is.

Accepting your truth is a crucial first step to restoring inner balance, because it allows you to find peace in knowing that you're already aware of your problem, even when you don't know how to deal with it just yet. It is the only place to start from, that allows you to make better decisions. By accepting the reality of a situation, you will feel better about yourself, because it immediately gives you a sense of control, which makes you feel more balanced...even when your life is still completely messed up.

Once you have accepted the truth, the next step is to...

Find The Right Perspective and Set Clear Goals.

In order to solve one piece of the cube, you not only have to determine which piece, you also have to look at it from the right angle. You have to find the right perspective, before you can make a move.

Finding out your specific perspective matters, because without a clear idea of what is wrong, you can make all the right moves, suggested by the smartest people on this planet and it still won't make a significant difference.

Only you can know exactly what is wrong. Find out what it is and be specific about the problem you're facing. What state are you in? What is it that's creating this feeling of unbalance? Which piece of your inner puzzle feels out of place and where does it belong?

Solving the cube is a methodical, step by step process. Each solved piece of the cube builds upon the other, until the complete cube is solved and balance is restored. Start with achieving one goal and gradually build your success on top of your previous victories.

Making Intelligent Choices.

When a piece of the cube needs to be moved to its original position, it can only be done by being smart about it. When you make intelligent choices, then you are being mindful of all the other pieces of the cube as well.

So how can you make a move to create more balance in your life... without messing everything up even more? The solution is to focus on multiple aspects of your life, not on the one aspect you're trying to change. Take in account the fact that everything in your life is connected, like the basic structure of the cube and that you cannot change one aspect without affecting all the others in the process.

For example: when your current income strategy is flawed, then your solution may be to work longer or to get an extra job. But before you go down that path, think about how that will affect everything else? What will it do to your social life? To your health?

When a change in one aspect of your life has the ability to make other aspects of your life suffer, would you still consider it to be an intelligent solution or should you look for a different approach? In case of the job example, then perhaps the solution would be to find a job that is better aligned with who you are? A job that allows you to express yourself better? A job that contributes to your personal health, your income,...

If a decision doesn't affect your life in numerous positive ways, can you then define it as an intelligent choice to make?

Repeat.

We often neglect the first steps, because they are easy, but more than often they are the foundation for our overall success.

When I learned how to solve the cube, I first learned how to solve the bottom part. When I knew how to solve the bottom part, I moved on to solving the middle layer, and so on. Before I moved on to solving the next layer, I made sure I could solve the previous layer by heart.

Big personal changes require conditioning, discipline and dedication. Although accepting your truth, finding your perspective, setting goals and making intelligent choices are essential, the key to long-term change is still hard work.

For example: you don't gain 20 pounds of muscle fast by going to the gym once a week for half an hour, mainly to sit on an exercise bike, peddling at the lowest possible resistance level, while focusing on the overhead TV's. You become stronger by going more than once a week for an extended period of time, using a lot of commitment and the willingness to break a sweat.

The amount of iterations and the intensity of your efforts are absolutely crucial to change. So don't be afraid to ask yourself what your actions are telling you about your level of commitment. If your actions aren't making much of a difference, then maybe you have to be more focused and dedicated to your goals or simply... show up more.

Nurturing.

When I had my Rubik's Cube for 3 months, I had solved it at least 200 times. By then, solving it was no longer a challenge. So I wanted to know how long it would take me to forget how to solve it. I decided not to pick it up for 2 months... 60 days later, it took me a little longer to solve it, but I still managed to twist all the pieces back into their original position. I don't know how long it would take me to completely forget how to solve it, but considering this, I'm guessing it would take quite some time.

Although learning a new skill may be very time consuming, the ability to use that skill will stick around for a very long time as long as you continue to nurture it. But remember, bad habits are also skills. They are simply skills you don't want. So if you have had a bad habit for many years, then it will be a part of you as long as you continue to nurture it. Once you stop feeding it with your energy, it will slowly fade away from your consciousness.

You Already Have Everything You Need.

Each side of the cube has the potential to be the same color, but it also has the potential to be a unique pattern of colors. The configuration of the cube is a potential. It never really changes, it only appears to change.

You don't really change either. You can only rearrange what is already there, so everything you need to succeed and to create balance in your life, already exists inside of you. Even if you're not using your courage, discipline, willpower,... you still have those qualities in you.

There Is No Quick & Easy Solution.

Even if you have a brilliant mind, you simply can't look at a Rubik's Cube and solve it.

Too much energy is wasted by people who allow frustration to get the better of them, when they are trying to get to a new personal destination. Rushing things simply leads to making mistakes and can recreate that feeling of unbalance, which leads to disappointment. Sometimes you have to slow down in order to reach your destination faster.

After all, the point of personal growth is to be accurate and to make conscious choices to restore the order and balance in your life... not to be fast

The goal for bertmeert.com is to increase your awareness and to help you contribute to the world by unlocking your creative energy.

For more personal development articles, visit www.bertmeert.com
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© 2009 Bert Meert

The Mental Landscape.

At the moment, almost every one of us is not satisfied with state one or more aspects of our lives are in. But it could be worse. You could also feel completely stuck, and not see a way out of your current situation at all. Luckily, this is where your imagination makes all the difference. It allows you to redefine your reality as you currently know it, regardless of the way it is.

To understand your powers of imagination better, think of your mind as a vast and infinite landscape. You can't see its edges because there aren't any. What you do see in that landscape, is a fence or an enclosure. The enclosure seals off a tiny section of the entire landscape. That small piece represents your current knowledge of the world and encapsulates everything your are currently aware off. What lies outside the enclosure, is possibilities. You cannot escape the landscape, but you can do something with the enclosure inside the landscape. You can make it wider, by increasing your knowledge, or you can move it, by emerging yourself in new experiences.

When you "feel stuck", it means you're giving away your power to the idea that you can't do anything with the fence. It also means you're convincing yourself that you are destined to live your current life over and over again, because you have no control. It also means you have resorted to the idea that if something can change, it will have to come from outside yourself, from outside the fence. You're basically in a state in which you believe that the outcome of your life is determined by luck.

But you don't really believe that's true, do you?

The truth is, you can always shift the fence and therefore decide what you wish to experience in this life. Your imagination is simply there to remind you of what lies beyond the enclosure. It brings to your attention that there is an infinite amount of options out there and that you don't have to wait for other people to create opportunities for you. You have the ability to move the fence how you please and hereby alter your life. In other words, you can create those opportunities yourself.

What you know at the moment is the content of the piece of mental landscape you have conquered in the past. So if you're tired of experiencing the same things, then challenge yourself. Is your current way of living all there really is? Is it the only solution to your problem? Or is it the only solution you can come up with, right now? Don't spend too much time wandering around on the same patch of mental landscape over and over again, unless you want your life to become predictable, boring, unfulfilling and deprived of purpose.

Towards Reality.

I often ask myself, "what would a different life feel like for me?" The more I do this, the more change seems to creep into my life. By doing this regularly, I continue to point my focus, my imagination, towards what I want to experience, instead of what I don't want. And by being very specific, the target I'm trying to hit has become more and more defined.

Most people however don't use this mindset. They focus on what they don't want. They imagine the worst and therefore get the worst. Now, what if those people were to imagine the best and condition themselves to think of nothing else?

So why do we primarily focus on what we don't want? Does repeating it truly make a difference? Obviously, the answer is no. The opposite is true, we should remind ourselves of what we want, until we can't remember the alternative: the state of mind we are trying to free ourselves from.

There is however a valid explanation for this type of behavior. When it comes to achieving our dreams, we are often discouraged by the massive amount of action and discipline it requires to attain what we want. We would love to stand on top of the mountain, but we don't want to climb it. So most of the time, we just settle for the idea, and not for the actual thing. Or we decide to fight against what we don't want, because then we don't have to go through the process of making our dreams a reality.

So what makes the difference, is imagining how we can achieve our goals, instead of eternally envisioning the goal itself. Think about this for a moment: when was the last time you decided to pile up a bunch of options in front of you and decided to pick out a few that have the potential to make a difference? Options you can believe in.

Imagination can only give you the escape routes, never the actual results. So don't just use your imagination to picture what you want, also use it consistently to imagine solutions as to how something can become a reality.

Everything Can Be Anything.

Your perspective determines what you believe to be true about what you experience on a day to day basis. For example, think about the famous Rorschach test. During this test, you are presented with a big blob of ink on a piece of paper and you are asked: "what do you see?" There is not one true answer to the question, but the answer you give will be affected by your past experiences and it will reveal how you perceive the blob of ink. It tells you how you experience this life and how you label, not only things, but also yourself. In truth however, you're not the label you assign to yourself. You are not what you did in the past because tomorrow you can change your mind about who you are and grow into somebody completely different.

Your real identity is formless and undefined. The fact that your default shape has no identity of its own, is one of the most beautiful gifts you have been given. Instead of being defined, you can do with your body and mind as you please. Because of that, you are either at the mercy or at the good will of your own imagination. The formless shape of yourself is also what forces you to act responsibly. You cannot allow yourself to not take full responsibility for who you are, because in order to be happy, you always have to learn to master the shape you are in.

So are you the person you imagined you should be? What do you want to change, without thinking about the fact that you may or may not be able to change it right away? Do you have a notion of a different you in mind? Are you consciously reshaping yourself into the person you want to be?

When the answer is no and you feel dissatisfied about your life, then your imagination simply needs an upgrade. If you can imagine a different you, then you can enable a new vision of yourself to become a reality. I always consider my thoughts about myself to be like a blueprint. And my imagination can reshape that blueprint. Each time I take action in life, that blueprint is used to shape me in reality. That includes how my body looks, what I do, how I behave, what my goals are, everything... Everything is shaped in your mind first in the form of that blueprint. If, for example, you want to become more muscular in reality, you have to see yourself more muscular in your mind first. You have to determine what you want and picture it in your mind's eye. First you transform the mental model of yourself on the inside, then you move on the next step: taking action. Health, happiness, beauty, wealth,... all the good things (and unfortunately also all the bad things) in your life are the result of how you define yourself. How you imagined yourself.

Theory Schmeory... Time For Action!

Now how do you do this? How do you stimulate your ability to imagine change? Where do you start? How do you break the rules of your own mind and begin replacing them with new ones? The following exercise is something I learned from handling databases. I've been dealing with them for about 10 years now and they are fairly basic creatures. There are 3 basic things you can with the information inside a database: add something, remove something OR change something.

Now take a moment to apply these 3 actions to your own life. Ask yourself the following questions:

What would happen if you removed something from your life? A bad habit, a job you hate, a friendship that no longer benefits you...

What would happen if you added something to your life? Start a diet or exercise routine, develop a new interest, meet new people...

What would happen if you changed something you don't want to remove or can't remove? Change your diet, change how you spend money, change the way you interact with others...

Now take a moment for yourself to picture and imagine the results.

There are many things I can think of that I can add to my life at the moment, but I always keep in mind whether or not they will distract me from reaching my current goals or help me to achieve them. If they can help me grow, I will add them. If not, I put it on hold. There are also moments when I feel I should remove something from my life, but eventually come to the conclusion there are still possibilities for growth in it, so a better option is to make changes.

These simple questions are the fuel for your imagination to start kicking in. They question the boundaries you're currently experiencing and allow a purposeful action plan to appear. They can help you to open up to a possible better future for yourself. The only thing that can stop you from experiencing what you imagined during this self-questioning exercise is a lack of discipline and the courage to turn it into a reality.

Don't be fooled by the silent nature of imagination. Learn to master it. It is what enables everything to become real.

The goal for bertmeert.com is to increase your awareness and to help you contribute to the world by unlocking your creative energy.

For more personal development articles, visit www.bertmeert.com
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© 2009 Bert Meert

You can however define your success by these 2 questions: What does your success mean to you? & What does your success mean to others?

The media has a strong desire to prescribe you an idea of success, although its content can only be described by the individual. The profits made by commercial media are based on the idea that you have to acquire stuff to feel successful and fit into a social mold. But almost all of these projected images are unrealistic. An expensive car, lots of money in the bank, nice clothes, the latest gadgets are never a necessity for a happy life. So when you follow the media's vision instead of your own, you're dooming yourself to play a role in life that is not defined by you, but by someone else.

Here's what I think: follow your own dreams or you will forced to follow someone elses.

They say a tree cannot grow in the shadow of another tree, and therefore you cannot grow as an individual by staying in the shadow of another person's success. The first step towards personal achievement is deciding to move out of the shadow, to nurture yourself and grow, so that you can begin to cast a shadow of your own. The value of your accomplishments depends on consciously choosing to undergo new experiences that at first scare you, but make you grow stronger and wiser in the end.

You can only free your full potential for personal expression, by accepting your unique potential strengths. So the first step towards personal success is to accept yourself as the unique person you are. Never choose to act differently, but accept that you are unique, by default!

If success relies on your ability to grow on your own, then a big part of success involves challenging yourself. Success is not about outsmarting or being competitive with other people but by allowing an internal battle to happen within yourself. The reason is simple: you will never find anybody who cares more about your achievements than yourself. Your friends and family can be supportive, but when it comes to acting out your vision, you're completely on your own.

Most people believe success is a pot of gold on the other side of a rainbow. But if you tried this mindset before, you already know it inevitably fails to give you a feeling of success. The goal is to live the idea of success in the present moment, not to achieve it in the future. The mindset of success is shaped by undertaking small actions and by understanding that every step of the way is just as important as your goals. So reap the rewards of your success all the time, or stop trying to be successful, period!

To give you a small example: a couple weeks ago I looked at the visitor statistics for this blog and noticed that in the previous 7 days the visitor count had tripled, compared to the first week of October. I have to admit, this blog is very young, but a 300% increase in traffic is an undeniable sign of growth. Getting in touch with as many people as possible and helping people to get in touch with their inner powers are my primary goals, so am I not successful because I haven't been able to share my vision with thousands of people just yet? Absolutely not! I've already succeeded at making enough changes to allow me to be connected with 3 times as much people as I did before. To me, that is success.

But success not only depends on your feeling of satisfaction, it also depends on the value you're delivering to others. If you don't believe your efforts are of value to others, then you should stop doing what you're doing right now! If you don't care about someone else's desires, then nobody will care about yours.

To be successful, you will have to find satisfaction in contribution. Your success means nothing, when your environment remains indifferent about your achievements. You fail, when your audience doesn't feel included in the success story you're telling. For example, if you are a cook, and you marvel at the flavor of your dishes, but everybody else feels noxious when eating your food, then you've failed miserably at delivering value and your success will follow suit. You can only shine, when those who are connected to the results of your creative work, shine as well.

What Is Success?

Success is the road, not the destination. It is the road you create, because you love to do it, not because others made you think you should. It is the road you create for yourself. You either decide to build it, brick by brick, or you keep following the roads other people made. And it is the road you build for others, because you believe the old roads are leading to nowhere and are failing to serve your fellow man.

So, now that you know... where are you planning to take us? :-)

The goal for bertmeert.com is to increase your awareness and to help you contribute to the world by unlocking your creative energy.

For more personal development articles, visit www.bertmeert.com
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© 2009 Bert Meert

A long time ago I went to a soccer game with a friend. And even though I'm not at all interested in that particular sport, I accepted his invitation. I did it because I know that new experiences, outside the scope of my current experiences, always come with new insights. So I joined him, because it felt like an opportunity to grow.

During the game, I was seated next to a couple thousand people, and I came to realize that most people in life are spectators, who watch others play and do all the magic. They spend money to watch others enjoy themselves, feel good about themselves, grow abundant... they watch others play, but don't believe they can play themselves.

After the game, most of those people return to a life, that doesn't even closely resemble the creation they just witnessed. The spectator's lives are not jam packed with creation or growth, but with consumption. And worse, most of those people don't question whether or not they can do something about that or even realize they have so much more to offer. That they can become players on a field as well.

When you feel disconnected from life and not getting what you really want, it means you have become, or always have been, a spectator. Perhaps you think you are part of the game as a consumer, but you're not. You're not playing, not experimenting, not growing, not learning. You're not being there 100% for yourself to make significant changes in the way you experience your life. In that case, you're wasting away your time and emotional resources, to a life of consumption that doesn't have the power to give you what you need.

A lot of people think it was all planned out for them to be a spectator in the game of life, but it isn't. It doesn't matter if you were born in a poor neighborhood. It doesn't matter, whether or not you have a lot of money. It doesn't matter if you're not the brightest person. There is one thing that makes us all a creator, and it is passion, the emotional fuel that makes us believe we can achieve what others think cannot be achieved. It's also our ability to become a proactive person, so that we can remind ourselves that we have to rely heavily on being resourcefulness, instead of believing we need a lot of resources, to get things done.

As a spectator, your focus is to watch other people play, instead of figuring out how you can become a creative person, someone who prefers to provide value to others. Players, people who consciously grow, on the other hand ask themselves what they have to do or learn to be paid to enjoy what they do.

Happiness doesn't come from being a spectator, it comes from growing into a creator and seeing yourself transform into the person you want to be.

If you read one of my previous articles "consume less, create more", you will come to understand that becoming a player on the field is a much more fulfilling option. But something inside you needs to grow stronger, before it can become noticeable to others and before you can earn your place on the field. In this life, you cannot grow rich in spirit, if you sit around and do nothing. When you're not working on improving yourself you're basically of the human radar. You have to find your strength, nurture it and allow it to blossom, so that you can learn to control a specific aspect of yourself to perform complex tasks and contribute to this world.

The reason why people grow rich is not because they are blessed with a talent or skill. Some people market themselves as if they are "the chosen one". As if for some reason they were blessed with a gift from the moment they were born. Often that causes people to think "hmm, why bother... I don't have that gift, so let's just forget about it...". I have a growing dislike for people who market themselves this way, because they mask the truth with their own lies, simply to make themselves feel more special. It doesn't mean they don't have skills, but what they do is send out a vibe that they are worth more than others, when they most certainly are not. They may sell themselves to you in such a way, but the actual truth is that every person with a particular skill simply feels a strong connection to a part of life and chooses to engage with that, over and over and over again. They connect with a strong feeling and have become so intertwined with their creations, that they no longer see the distance between themselves and what they create. They feel inseparable from what they do.

Few people go through such lengths to do what other people can't, because it requires tremendous amounts of discipline. It also requires having a long term vision, one that resonates with your deepest desires and involves rethinking what you believe is true all the time. It requires courage to question your reasons for acting in a particular way and to admit you're wrong about what you think most of the time. It also means you have to stop relying on the quick-fix approach and to face the actual truth. That you cannot expect to kick a ball around and immediately play with the pro's.

In the game of life, we all have to prove our worth, our value to our environment. So ask yourself, at any level of experience: why should anyone spend their time to watch you do what you do, or pay for what you create for them? What is the value of your creation? Can you improve the quality of someone else's life, while at the same time improving the quality of your own? What can you do to make other people feel successful?

When you've come to the point where you are good at creating value for others, you will notice a tangible shift in your life. The amount of personal control and the creative work you produce will become the reason why others spend time with you. It becomes the reason why people listen to the songs you play, eat the food you make, read the words you write,... and you will experience an increase in the opportunities you get to connect with like-minded people.

What you then feel, is an increase in attention that allows you to feel rich. And that's what you want to achieve. It means you've been able to convince yourself that you can escape the scarcity mindset most people have and move on to an abundance mindset, without additional resources. You then prove yourself that relying on your resourcefulness works and that it pushes you forward. You will come to understand that money or power has absolutely nothing to do with feeling or becoming successful.

Life is a shared experience, and therefore also a shared creation. To feel connected to this world and to do your part, it requires spending a lot of time working on what you feel is worth the effort.

So do it. Don't just sit there and watch other people play. Get in the game!

The goal for bertmeert.com is to increase your awareness and to help you contribute to the world by unlocking your creative energy.

For more personal development articles, visit www.bertmeert.com
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© 2009 Bert Meert

Personal interests can shift however and before you know it, you're stuck with a subscription that no longer resonates with you. About three months ago I found myself in that particular type of situation. At the time, I was subscribed to a magazine that cost me about $17 a month to read, but because the magazine's subject no longer addressed my interests, I was wasting money. So I decided to cancel my subscription and invest that money in new ways to improve myself.

Earlier this year, I had bought a Wii console, so a pretty good investment was to buy Big Brain Academy, a brain training program. I've been playing the game regularly and it genuinely works for me. I mainly detect an increase in my ability to memorize more, increase my attention span for longer periods of time, and analyze problems better. In other words, it helps me to keep my mind sharp. The only downside is, I don't always have my Wii console available to me. I can't play the game whenever I feel like it and because I didn't feel like investing in a portable device, I had to look for a better solution.

A couple weeks ago, my girlfriend directed my attention towards Lumosity, an online brain improvement program. I had never heard of it before, but it turns out to be one of the leading brain training programs in the world and is the result of extensive scientific research. That sounded pretty interesting to me. If I want my brain to be trained, I want the right kind of people to help me get the job done. So I read all about it, signed up for a trial period, played and enjoyed it immediately!

About the Lumosity Brain Enhancement Program.

Here is what Lumosity has to say about their product:

Lumosity is the premier site for scientific brain training. Our successful growth as a private company in the past year demonstrates the market's enthusiasm for training the brain to better health and performance. With a comprehensive suite of games and exercises, Lumosity is a uniquely powerful and fun way to improve brain fitness. With a focus on quality, science-based games, it is not surprising that Lumosity has gained traction in the market as a trusted brain training website for people interested in health or gaming. Unlike many casual gaming sites, Lumosity appeals equally to both men and women. Students and young professionals use Lumosity to sharpen their mind for school and advance their careers. Baby Boomers use Lumosity to keep their mind fit, and seniors are often interested in fighting cognitive decline.

My intention for this blog is not only to help you increase your awareness, but also to point your attention towards interesting self improvement tools. I believe Luminosity.com is one of those websites that can make your mind sharper and does so at a very reasonable price. You get unlimited access to all brain improvement programs for only $6.70 / month (22 cents a day). That's dead cheap for a training program that can improve the way you interact with the world.

The Benefits of Brain Training?

If you're considering a new or improved method to stretch your mental capabilities, then have a look at what Lumosity has to offer. You can get started for free right now.

The goal for bertmeert.com is to increase your awareness and to help you contribute to the world by unlocking your creative energy.

For more personal development articles, visit www.bertmeert.com
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© 2009 Bert Meert

What Are Thoughts?

Before I touch the subject of becoming an optimist, I want you to know a little something about your thoughts. First of all, you are not your thoughts. You are awareness and awareness is an opportunity that allows thinking to happen. It allows you to have thoughts. Because I think very visually, I often consider my thoughts to be a thing that floats in front of me. How I am connected to these thoughts is not important. All I need to know, is that I can use them, to make changes.

So what are thoughts anyway? Your thoughts are the tools that help you to direct your energy. When you create a mental distance between you and your thoughts, you not only create a sense of independence, but you also gain more control over your ideas. It then becomes clear that you can choose which ones you want to work with and which ones you wish to neglect. However, when you believe you are your thoughts, then you have no control over them. You then believe you are the tool, instead of the entity that handles the tool.

So the first thing to understand is that a thought is nothing more than a tool. People often use the term "use positive thinking", so they basically say "use your positive tool". But there is no such thing. They consider thought to be something that can be attributed with positivity, but you cannot assign anything to thought. You don't think positive, nor do you think negative. Thought is not blue, not soft, not anything. It's completely neutral.

You can't become a positive person by using "positive thinking" to undo your "negative thinking", because you can't experience a sense of positivity and negativity at the same time, much like you can't be angry and happy at the same time. Positive and negative don't exist side by side at the same time in your awareness, so how can you possibly use the one to undo the other?

Being in a positive or negative state is simply being aware of a process that happens inside you. It's like a river, a stream, that flows in one direction (we label it "positive") or in the opposite direction (we label it "negative").

To become an optimist, you can only do it by slowly and consciously redirecting the stream that flows through you and gradually push it in the opposite direction. You do this by refocusing where your energy flows to. By using your thoughts.

What You See Is What You Become.

You don't have direct access to that positive or negative stream inside you, but you do have access to that which controls the flow of that internal river. It's called focus. Your focus directs where the stream is going to and to change the flow of that internal stream - preferably in the positive direction - you have to change what you focus on or see in this world.

And yes, like everything that involves personal growth, this requires effort. Whatever state you are in, it takes perseverance to gradually push that entire stream in the opposite direction. Because that stream is so vast, you can't expect it to simply start flowing in the other direction, because you want it to. You can try it out, here and now! If you're a positive minded person, try to think negative, right now! If you're a negative minded person, try thinking positive, right now!

You can't do it, right? The current of that inner force is way too powerful, because it has built up momentum over a period of years. At best, you can shift your perspective a little bit. So thinking positive cannot be done with a quick fix approach. It's about changing your outlook over a long period of time and accumulating moments of positivity.

Many Small Steps Make Big Changes.

When you feel negative, you can, for example, put on some music. Music is very influential and it can feel as if you have become more positive in a heartbeat. But as soon as you turn the music off, that internal river still flows in the same direction as it did before. You nudged it a bit, but if you don't put on some more music, you will revert back to your negative thinking in no time. You then switch back to what you are used to focusing on. That's good news, because it means that even a small change, can make a little difference.

But that one thing isn't going to change everything. You need to repeat the process. And you have to repeat it a lot of times. You have to immerse yourself in positivity and keep doing that. You have to overwhelm yourself with positive input, such as pleasant conversations, music, nature walks, enjoying your food, spending time with kids, playing, singing in the shower,... well, you do have a sense of imagination don't u? Well, use it! Make a list of all the things that can make you happy. And then take action, so you can experience a new you, because simply thinking about change... changes absolutely nothing.

The more you encourage yourself to redirect that flow, the more you will convince yourself that that is how your internal river should flow. Continue to find sources of positivity and you will begin to forget what it is like to feel those negative emotions.

A lot of people use affirmations to convince themselves to think positive, but I'm not at all a fan, because they simply don't work for me. I tried them for a while but I kept rejecting them because they felt unnatural and because the idea grew inside my mind that I was fooling myself into believing something I didn't want to believe. There are far more powerful things in this world to become a positive person. One of my personal favorites is to go to the beach and enjoy a couple of hours walking, smelling the ocean air and hearing the waves. Things like that do a far better job at lifting your spirit, than cramming in tons of affirmations.

But it is also important to accept the state you are in right now. Be realistic about the changes you want to go through. You don't become a positive person overnight! I've been working on this aspect of my life for a really long time now and I'm still not the most optimistic person in the world. But by understanding the above concepts, I know how to gradually push myself in a new direction.

The only certainty you have, is that you can control your life, by focusing on what you wish to experience. Even when everything feels wrong, you can still decide to live in the moment and enjoy it. It all depends on what you want to see in the world. You either choose to see the positive or you choose to see the negative. Is everything negative? Then use your imagination to find out what you believe is positive and act on your ideas, over and over and over and over again, until you find it hard to remember what it was like to feel bad.

Life is beautiful and so are you, even if you don't believe it right now. So dive into the positive. If you can see the beauty, it means you have become it.

The goal for bertmeert.com is to increase your awareness and to help you contribute to the world by unlocking your creative energy.

For more personal development articles, visit www.bertmeert.com
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© 2009 Bert Meert

What if you could think differently? What if you could change your perception of your life and put yourself in a state of increased clarity? To expand your view on the world? Would it cast away certain boundaries you set for yourself?

During our lifetime, we rely on two things to explore this world: our senses, to absorb new information and our memory, to recall what we've learned in the past. Although we have no choice but to rely on our senses and memories, they can easily fool us.

Physical Boundaries.

Imagine, If nobody had ever informed you, in any way, that the earth was round and you were living in an age where there was little or no information about the planet, would you think it is round? Or would you believe it is flat? We can answer this question because this situation has happened to mankind before. Unless you are a genius, you will think the world is flat. Not because it is true, but because the earth looks flat, because it is the most obvious answer to give and because you don't have any information to prove it is not. You have no reason to doubt your belief. Until someone thinks... "hey wait a minute... what if we are wrong?"

Before mankind was aware that they were living on a round planet, people were bound to where they lived. They were afraid that they would fall of the earth's surface, at some unknown location, if they travelled around in unknown places. There was danger, but it was uncertain where. On a round planet however, there are no invisible boundaries, there is no drop off and therefore not a single good reason to stay put. So we became explorers and slowly increased our knowledge about our own home. We lost a barrier that was stopping us from experiencing more than we previously believed to be possible. We expanded our world and we did it by changing our perception. We did it by embracing a new truth.

What you should remember from this, is that memories and senses can only give us A truth, they can never give us THE truth.

Mental Boundaries.

The same idea applies to mental boundaries as well. How many times did you believe something, that eventually turned out to not be true? An assumption or a mental block that made you pass up on an experience, because you were either afraid, didn't think it would serve you or felt like it didn't fit in with your current line of thinking? Every time you did this, you created the belief that you are on a flat planet, when in fact, you are living on an round one.

Why do we do this? Why do we allow our own thoughts to rule over us and make us think we have less potential than we actually have? Why haven't we evolved into better explorers of our own capabilities? The reason is: we are programmed to compare everything that crosses our path to the past. It's our safety mechanism. What we know is reliable and safe, what we don't know, we fear.

The main idea of living consciously means to open yourself up to a new you. To move towards the fear, not back away from it. Living consciously is about replacing old, unrealistic invalid ideas with new, realistic valid ones. It's about rethinking what you believe to be true. Even if you believe you are 100% certain.

You can start to live more consciously by making small changes to your life. Changes that are a result of performing small personal experimentations, that will bring you closer to the truth.

To give you a personal example: for as long as I can remember, I have never liked cheese. I simply don't like the smell and taste of it. In the past, I simply said NO to it all the time. But at a certain age, I became curious about what I was missing out on. Surely there would be types of cheese I could like, right? So I started tasting different varieties of cheese and I quickly discovered which types I could eat and which ones I couldn't. Every time I tasted a new flavor, I performed a reality check. If I liked it, perfect. If I didn't like it, I would stay away from it. Although some cheeses make me physically noxious, my curiosity has given me the opportunity to join in on a cheese dish with other people now. It helps me to stretch myself to the outer boundaries of what is true for me.

Another way to change your perceptions is to be open to other people's beliefs. The greatest tragedies in our history are the result of people sticking to their ideas and failing to see that there can be multiple truths to a single concept. Religious wars, for example, are caused by the idea that 2 beliefs cannot exist side by side. The expression of those conflicts are the result of conflicts in the mind's of people. In their perception of the truth. However, by opening up to new ideas, we can expand our mind, create deep personal connections and broaden our experiences, all rooted in the idea of a mutual respect for other people's thoughts.

What about you?

Did you make any shifts in your thinking recently, that increased the enjoyment of your life? Which mental barriers did you break to gain more freedom in your life?

The goal for bertmeert.com is to increase your awareness and to help you contribute to the world by unlocking your creative energy.

For more personal development articles, visit www.bertmeert.com
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© 2009 Bert Meert

Clarity. Write from a state of confidence. Ask yourself what you want your article to mean for your readers. Don't fall into the trap of trying to sound professional and not helping anybody in the process. Write when focused, relaxed and free from all distractions.

Write from the heart. Search for your own voice. It's perfectly fine to be inspired by other people's work, but whatever you publish, it must be written from that unique little place inside yourself. Deliver authentic and original content. Share who you are, not who you think you should be. Chase the truth.

Be of service. Don't share your thoughts, simply for the sake of sharing them. Ask yourself if there is value in the act of sharing your ideas.

Don't waste people's time. Strive to deliver consistent value. Don't force people to plough through heaps of information they don't need, in order to find little nuggets of gold. Be grateful for your reader's attention. Find the essence and stick to your niche.

Feel it. Write articles that resonate with your deepest thoughts and desires. Spend a lot of time with the subject. Get to know yourself, other people, the world. Then report back on your findings.

Be proud. Appreciate yourself for taking you to the level you've reached so far. Cherish your early work. Blogging is learning and teaching at the same time. Keep writing, even when you think you're not good enough.

Be patient. It can take months or even years to grow closer to your audience. Don't expect changes to come overnight. Even when nobody is listening, continue to share your vision. Don't just sit there and wait. Explore the net. Meet new people. Connect. Tune in on other people's ideas and ongoing conversations, because you will always need others to take you to the next level.

Differentiate. Take a new approach every time you write a new article. Try different styles, different perspectives, use different tones. Only change allows growth. Only change can teach you what works and what doesn't.

And last, but certainly not least, enjoy it!

The goal for bertmeert.com is to increase your awareness and to help you contribute to the world by unlocking your creative energy.

For more personal development articles, visit www.bertmeert.com
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© 2009 Bert Meert

If you're not that person yet, not already making things happen for yourself, or others, then you may very well be out of touch with your superpowers. So keep reading...

Superman.

When I was young, I loved to watch Superman movies. Although I was not impressed with the man's outfit (those tight little shorts were just a little too revealing), I was always amazed by his superhuman strength and insatiable need to help others. So, like any other boy of my age, I pretended to be him. It was easy. All it took, was to hold my fist in the air, run around with a sweater around my neck, shouting "suuuupermaaaan" on top of my lungs. I loved it. And it was healthy too.

But nowadays, I look at him very differently. I may not be superhuman in any way, but I truly believe I use my personal powers well. Actualy, what strikes me most about Superman is that he never needed his cape to fly. He didn't need the S-sign on his chest to have access to his powers. Even without his suit, he was powerful. The only suit he was wearing, was the suit he wore when he pretended to be someone he wasn't. When he pretended to be weak and least respected. When he didn't share his powers with the rest of the world.

Why is a soap bubble round?

What does this question (actualy a line from the 2001 movie K-PAX) have to do with finding your superpowers? Well, a soap bubble is round, because it is the most energy efficient configuration. In other words, for a soap bubble to have a different shape, it would have to apply force onto itself. It would have to pretend to be something it is not.

We are very similar to the soap bubble. We were made in a form that is the most efficient configuration for us to be in. But unlike the soapbubble, we have a conscious mind. We can choose not to accept the physical or mental shape we are in. We can workout and change the shape of our body over a period of time. However, as soon as we let go of our training regime, we return back to the shape that requires the least amount of energy.

Our mind works the same way. We can change how we see ourselves. We can even trick ourselves into believing we are someone we are not. To do things we don't even like.

But at what cost? To not express yourself who you are, means you have to use additional mental energy to change your beliefs about who you are. You then act against your natural state of being, very similar to creating a lie. A lie that struggles to not become the truth.

You have skills, qualities, talents, gifts... But unless you accept what was given to you from birth, you will continue to fight a battle against your true nature. A fight you cannot possibly win. It will continue to tempt you to invest in a struggle that requires you to defend a version of you that isn't meant to be. Your true self is the part you don't want to change, because you accept it is unchangeable. It's that part of you that simply wants to be what it is and grow. To use the analogy of the soap bubble: you can blow air into the bubble and make it grow, but no matter how you blow, it will always look like a soap bubble. The only difference you can make, is the amount of effort you put into the blowing, how fast the bubble grows...

So what about what we do on a daily basis? Is it empowering you? Does it give you a feeling of growth? Or is it doing the exact opposite, is it making you weaker?

We often believe we are caught up in the same horrible story. That life is an unpleasant struggle. But it doesn't have to be that way. It can just as easily be a fun challenge.

There are people out there who gain so much energy from their passion it can make your head spin how much energy they have available to them. And what they lack in resources, they make up in spirit, willpower, drive, motivation, emotional energy, inner strength... and they are truly happy. And yes, even they face a lot of difficulties on a daily basis, have to confront their fears and go through periods of doubt... But they prove it is possible to live a happy, energetic and challenging life.

So what makes one person superman and the other cant-seem-to-find-any-power-man? Where are the former getting their energy from?

Directing Your Energy.

We are energy. And what we do with that energy is directed by the choices we make. Choices that make every one of us unique. Choices that will either shape us... or break us. But when we send energy to aspects of ourselves that aren't involved in our personal growth, that's when we become wasteful. We then try to nurture a part of us, that doesn't want to be. And no matter how much energy we put into it, we don't get anything in return. In short: wrong choices are nothing more than bad investements of your energy.

You can also think of it this way: when you spend money and your bank account drops below zero, it not only means you are spending more money than you make, it also means you are making bad decisions and misdirecting your energy. If the money you spend is well invested, you gain energy from it. For example: if you spend money to renew your gym membership and exercise regularly, you gain physical strength and stamina after your workout, which makes you feel healthier, more alert, energized and capable of getting a lot of work done. Your increase in productivity then influences your bank account in a positive way. If your money is badly invested, you lose energy. For example: if you spend your money to buy junk food, after eating it, your body will struggle to process that meal. You then feel drained from your energy and feel the urge to not do anything until that digestive process stops stealing your thunder. You then feel unproductive and demotivated to get anything done, so nothing changes on your bank account as well.

The same idea applies to your personal energy. When your energy levels drop below zero, it means you are more involved in energy consuming activities, than you are in energy creating activities. Bad choices lead to demotivating results.

When I look around me, I often see people with great potential. But they don't succeed in releasing their power onto the world... yet. They feel stuck, because they haven't got a clue how to change it. They haven't figured out where to find their source of energy. They don't know what their purpose is in life, what they really really really want to do with the time they have. So they sit there, waiting for an answer that will never come, instead of taking a few moments of their time to dig deep into themselves.

Dig. Dig. Dig.

Life is not about who you think you should be. It's not about what society thinks you should be. It's about who you are. About acknowledging and empowering that which already exists in some form inside you. If you don't know what it is... you have to dig inside yourself. It means taking a short amount of time to let the answers come to you and catch it. The good thing is... you only have to do it once. So here's what you do:

Find a place where you can sit down comfortable and where you can be alone. Grab a piece of paper (or if you prefer to use a computer, open up a new document) and write down what you would love to do, what makes you excited, what makes you feel happy, how you want to see yourself, how you want to contribute to others, how you want to spend your time on earth... and don't stop writing until you've written down that which truly resonates with you. During this exercise you shouldn't worry about how you want to accomplish any of the things you write down. For example if you write down "I would love to be self-employed", it's not important how you will do it, simply continue to write until you've written down what feel right to you.

When you can't write down anything else that is better than what you've written down, you have found your superpowers, your purpose in life, that which drives you, your shape. If the results of this exercise resonate with you and your desires, you will find it hard not to get started right away.

Ask and thou shalt receive.

Life never gives you the answers, you know... You have to ask yourself what you need, because nobody "out there" can get to know you as well as you can get to know yourself. So do it. Learn about yourself. You are the only one who has access to who you are and what you want. But you have to consciously look for those answers. So when you decide to no longer pretend to be weak, it means you have decided you want to be strong. And from that moment on, you will grow the way you are supposed to grow. Not a second sooner.

The goal for bertmeert.com is to increase your awareness and to help you contribute to the world by unlocking your creative energy.

For more personal development articles, visit www.bertmeert.com
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© 2009 Bert Meert

You can let go now!

Do you remember how it felt like the first time you had to ride your bike? I'm sure you do. In every person's life, that moment is very significant. Not because it was scary. But because it required a lot of courage to do it. First of all, there is a big chance that you had to be asked to take out your bike.You had to be comforted that everything was going to work out fine. You had to be supported, mentally and physically. And all of this with a sense of distrust inside yourself. Your began pushing your little legs up and down on your bike and you moved forward. It was kind of exciting, but you weren't ready to do it on your own just yet. It took you a minute. To find that trust in yourself. And then you said those magic words... "you can let go now" With confidence, you continued to push down the pedals. And there it was. Your creation. You, riding your bike, for the first time, all by yourself.

Why is this moment so significant? What happened in that moment, when they let you go? You stopped your fear and replaced it by a love for it. You no longer felt the need to be supported, because it was proven that you didn't need any. You were a little closer to freedom. You gained a little more independence. Fear faded away and was instantly replaced by joy.

Even more important, the motivation no longer had to come from the person next to you. It came from within yourself. You were excited about the process of riding by yourself now. You no longer had to be asked to take out your bike. You loved driving around on your own. And all you needed was to get rid of that one thought that scared you. That one thought that was holding you back from tapping into your source of personal motivation.

True motivation is not the person outside you cheering you on. It's that voice inside you cheering you on. A voice that says : don't worry... you can do it!

Clarity.

Riding your bike is one thing. But what about all those things you haven't done yet in your life? All those things you are still feel insecure about?

How many times have you wanted to do something, but didn't because you lacked clarity about what was about to come next? What if you knew what was going to happen next? Would it be easier to convince yourself to do it? If an experienced person told you what was going to happen next, would it make a huge difference? Would you be tempted to try out, whatever you want to experience? Or would you still remain sceptical?

For most people, being told that you don't have to be scared to try something new, changes absolutely nothing. Why? Because clarity isn't transferable through words. Clarity comes from personal experience. For example, a runner can tell you what it feels like to run a marathon. He can give you details about every mile he ran. He can tell you how it feels. But until you decide to attempt what he does, you will never understand what he is going through. Action is a vital part of growth. Really... you don't know anything, until you've experienced it.

For some people, a lack of clarity is exciting. Others find it scary as hell. Which is normal. It's an inate attribute of people to be afraid of what is new. To be scared of things they haven't experienced yet.

To not know what will happen is like standing in front of a possibly unstable bridge. It may very wel seem unstable, but until you prove to yourself that it is, chances are you aren't going to feel confident about using it to continue your path. The only way you will trust the strength of that bridge is by stepping onto it and trying it out for yourself. Someone else can test it and tell you about it, but still, that might not make any difference at all. Fear is a natural thing. And you need it to push yourself towards it. So go slow. Go really slow if you have to. Put a single toe on that bridge if you're really fearful, then all of them, then put your entire foot down. Then your other foot. If you feel the stability of the bridge, it means you have recieved your dose of experiental confidence and then you can start to walk. But you won't get your confidence shot, until you take that first step.

Take this blog for example. More than a decade ago, I was cluecless about how I could make something like this. I didn't even know how the internet functioned. I was completely ignorant about the technicalities of the "online" world. But I was curious and I had been using the medium and it served me well, especialy for meeting new people. Still, I had to begin from scratch if I wanted to learn anything about building something online.

So I took a step. I looked into it. And I loved it. Then I looked into it some more. And even more. After a while, I couldn't get enough of it. If I were to tell myself back then, that a decade later, I would be designing, developing and writing this blog from scratch (as in writing all of the code, setting up a database, creating an RSS feed, creating an online contact form and so on...), I would have never believed it was possible. I didn't see all of this to be possible back then. All of this, is the result of ONE step, motivated by pure curiosity. Was it easy to get to where I am now? Absolutely not. But now I'm in a totally different place. A place where a lot of people will never be.

Personal Fuel.

To grow, you have to become a self-motivated force in this world. You cannot rely on constant external motivation. Constant external motivation is an impossible thing to ask for. You cannot have others cheering you on all the time. So when there is nobody there to motivate you, then you must do it yourself. Strong people are aware of an internal source of motivation. They push themselves to do what they fear, because it motivates them to grow.

The main reason why most people aren't self-motivated beings is because they fail to look for the answers they need on the inside. Most of the time, they look outside themselves. They look for fuel that works for others and accept it as a solution. They believe that money, control, consumption, passive entertainment...and so on are the key motivators for effective people to do what they do. And they are wrong. That's not why they do what they do.

This article means a lot to me. Not because it will make me rich, or popular, but because it has the potential to make a difference. That's my motivation. I'm powered by making changes and helping people. It's what I love to do. Last month, this blog recieved 25 visitors. That's not a big crowd cheering me on is it? Did it stop me from writing a new article? Nope. I know why I do what I do, because I love doing it. And I will keep doing it, even if in a year from now I'm still talking to 25 people. Although I'm planning to increase that number ;-)

Doing what you love, is the best way to become a self-motivated person. Love creates the motivational fuel you need, to fire up your internal desires. When you love what you do, then you don't need any other reason to do what you do. Money, influence... are simply by-products of the love for what you do. Whatever you do in life, there will always be lots of options to consider, but they will make more sense to you when you understand why you do what you do.

Love is the fuel that drives you forward and points you in the right direction at the same time. But in order to find direction for your actions, you have to find the reason first. That means you have to assign meaning to what you do. The more meaning you give it, the stronger your beliefs become. The stronger your beliefs are, the more action you will undertake. The more action you undertake, the more you will believe in your potential. The more meaning it will get.

You're a unique person, driven by unique values, morals, principles... Reality suggests that you don't need reasons from others to move forward, you need your own type of fuel. And the only way to find that fuel is to dig inside yourself. You can tap into someone else's motivation for a while, but it's not going to make you move forward as fast as your own personal type of fuel will. You have to figure out who you are first and what makes your engine run. What you love most. What feels obvious to you.

Are you still waiting?

Change comes when you want it to come. When you decide to take on new and exciting challenges. Ask yourself what is the best thing for you. Ask yourself what makes you truly happy. And then do it. Don't worry about the steps you have to take. They will become clear.

The goal for bertmeert.com is to increase your awareness and to help you contribute to the world by unlocking your creative energy.

For more personal development articles, visit www.bertmeert.com
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© 2009 Bert Meert

I personaly feel as if I don't own anything. What I do own is my body, my mind, my spirit and my heart... It's actualy hard for me to convince myself I can really own something which is not a part of me.

That is why I spend most of my days imagining new things. And why I love to learn how to transform ideas and concepts into a new part of my everyday reality. Even when I don't experience a new reality yet, imagination already has the ability to satisfy me. It is one of my most valuable assets.

As I matured, the urge to envision and create new things increased tremendously. The impact of shaping reality the way I want it to be is now so strong, there are very few things that can replace it. Once you know how to push the "happiness button" inside yourself, then doing what you love to do, becomes a natural part of the way you express yourself. It can easily become more important than eating, sleeping or any other type of activity you can think of.

While consumers often see their work as a source of suffering, for a creative person it is often a place where they find a lot of joy. Creation releases a lot of energy, while consumption tends to lower your energy levels. That is why conscious creators have increased levels of awareness. Why they are superior thinkers. Why they have more self-confidence and feel better about what they do. Why they love to grow. Whatever amount of energy you put into your creative projects, it is always converted into physical or mental growth.

Most people don't transition from being a consumer to being a creator, although creating is by far the more fullfilling option. Once you've established the habit of seeing your life as one big act of creation, then nothing in this world will be able to convince you to revert back to mindless consuming. True, the creative route is a more challenging one to follow, but the rewards are of a very different magnitude. Instead of recieving short bursts of pleasure every time you aquire something, you begin to experience flow, a stream of joy, moving through your entire being.

Creating has a strong positive effect on people and that makes me believe that we are here to do just that. We are not here to do the opposite. It is not our purpose to collect more and more stuff. We are here to learn. To express ourselves. To grow and help each other grow. We aren't here to follow the latest trends and buy, buy, buy... That's the sound of marketing people, whispering in your ears.

The best way for me to create anything, is by caring deeply about how people feel, live, think and grow as human beings. But there is no way I can do that if I was purely motivated by consumption, instead of creation. I can only do it, by fueling my desire to give and by figuring out how I can express myself better.

And so can you. Create. Don't fall into the trap of mindless consumption. When you eventualy die, don't leave this world with nothing more than a butt print on your couch to remind us of who you were. Don't let that be the proof that you were here. Don't allow that to be your legacy. Instead, create and leave something behind we can all remember and benefit from.

The goal for bertmeert.com is to increase your awareness and to help you contribute to the world by unlocking your creative energy.

For more personal development articles, visit www.bertmeert.com
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© 2009 Bert Meert

I used to spend most of my days chewing on the past, trying to remember every single bad thing that had gone wrong. I believed that figuring it all out would prevent me from making mistakes in the future. But after years of pondering, nothing changed and I was still feeling miserable. I condemned myself to an eternal rollercoaster ride of regret, while at the same time I was neglecting the fact that I already had the power in me to change everything. I didn't consciously choose to experience my life in the present moment and therefore failed to change anything. I failed to appreciate my life for what it was.

I love to spend time at bookstores, so one day I came across Eckhart Tolle's "The Power Of Now". I read it from cover to cover in a few days and felt instantly moved by it. The first month I didn't experience any real big changes, but eventually, I noticed how my perspective on life began to shift. I was slowly adding more and more meaning to every new moment and finding more and more enjoyment in it.

How I feel about the present now, is no longer affected by the past or the future. Whatever I used to believe to be true about my past or future, is now irrelevant... there is no past or future. There is only now, moments of potential being, and the ability to choose. Choice and potential now determines the reality of who I am.

When people feel bad about life, it often means they don't allow themselves to be happy in the present moment. Past experiences and speculations about the future then outweigh the "now". So instead of paying the past or future a regular visit, they live there. Unfortunately those locations go hand in hand with a feeling of helplessness, especialy when they serve as placeholders for negative thoughts.

Imagine for a second, that every moment of your life can be represented by a blank canvas. You can choose to paint something ugly, because you're familiar with it, but you cannot deny feeling unfullfilled by it. The other options is that you consciously decide to learn how to paint in a new way, so that, with time and perseverance, you can aquire the skills to paint something that goes beyond your current beliefs.

Ever since I made the decision to spend less time in memory lane, I feel empowered instead of discouraged. I've learned to appreciate the road I'm on and it allows me to experience life in a very vivid way. I no longer rewind and play my memory tapes over and over again to figure out what went wrong. And I no longer paint mental pictures of a possibly miserable future.

Dreams and memories will never please you like the present moment can. If they cannot contribute to a more enjoyable present, then you don't really need them. It's perfectly fine to look back at the past to recollect certain events or connect to your roots. And it's absolutely necessary to make longterm plans for the future. But it's wiser to spend more time planting seeds in the present moment, because only those seeds have the potential to grow and make a difference.

The goal for bertmeert.com is to increase your awareness and to help you contribute to the world by unlocking your creative energy.

For more personal development articles, visit www.bertmeert.com
Follow Bert Meert on Twitter   Tweet this article
© 2009 Bert Meert

The goal for bertmeert.com is to increase your awareness and to help you contribute to the world by unlocking your creative energy.

For more personal development articles, visit www.bertmeert.com
Follow Bert Meert on Twitter   Tweet this article
© 2009 Bert Meert